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Help please! To move into the unknown? Or not...

I have a question! I know for me I can only find the answer myself, but Id like some help exploring it please! So... Do you think it's possible to transform your life where you are with the people you've always been with? Im finding it really hard to move forwards because Im back home where I started. With the same people I was with when I was a kid, and all the good and often (perceived) bad feelings and emotions that come with that burned into my subconscious that seem to get activated when Im with these people in the same childhood settings. Thinking hard of moving because I want to be this new growing me! I've been doing the practice for 3 years now-moving into the discomfort and through it... I have fallen off the wagon a little lately though I must admit, and got myself in a bit of a funk. I also saw a shaman for a soul retrieval, not entirely sure if that worked at all, or if it has set off my wanderlust and need for change! I'm weighing up the pros and cons of moving as it would entail me also moving my daughter (4 yrs old) who is happy here with family. I don't want to be selfish and disrupt her life, but I'm aware that if we don't; move soon, we risk getting stuck here for a very long time as I wouldn't want to move her when she is older and more settled. Im crying out for change and growth! Not sure if Im missing something under my nose-ie the ability to change within and therefore change without-I do believe in this principle, but I know that sometimes life pulls you to make other changes too to help facilitate the internal changes. I have been trying for 3 years to settle and make friends here. I haven't found many kindred spirits. There has been some positive change in myself and my family, but I think Im getting the uncomfy feeling from deep inside that I might have to break the attachment and take another step into the unknown... It's terrifying... It would be much easier and less risky to stay put. Im trying to work out messages from my head and from my heart. It's hard to tell the difference at the moment. Any advice would be really welcome at this tricky time! Especially with regards to making sacrifices in ones personal path for the sake of children. Not sure what to do for the best here. I know that my aura and happiness will rub off, but then the grass might not be greener if we take the plunge. Im aware Im lost in the 3D too!! The synchronisities Ive received point to a move-like little (very poignant) signs popping up when Ive been thinking of the new dream life... Not sure if its just mirroring whats in my head, or if the signs are telling me to go for it! so confusing!

Open's picture

Hi FT,

I feel for you - I know these kinds of situations are not easy.

The key that jumps right off the page for me, is the interplay between head and heart. We may feel an impulse to do something in the heart, but then the head does it's mental gymnastics around the various consequences and repercussions - before you know it, you've overwritten the heart impulse so its even hard to remember what you actually felt in the first place.

I think if you put your hand on your heart (so to speak), you already know what you're being called to do.

When I'm coaching people in these kinds of situations, I work to take them to a place where the fears aren't there. If there were no fears at all, and no obstacles, what would your heart want to do?

Feel into that. Build on that, but crucially without paying attention to the fears or possible repercussions that might come up with that choice.

Work to embody the new possibility first.

Once you've done that, then look at the fears individually. What do they touch inside? How do they contract you? These are the touch points of identification you need to get into.

Know that no pathway, that was ever worth taking, happened without fear, risk or challenge. The expansion of your soul happens through the constriction.

Work to let go of judgment. Just because your 4year old is happy now, doesn't mean her karma is not to explore change. So that might be a judgment on your part. The heart holds the higher interests of all life.

The only way to know, is to come from the heart and work forwards from this place. Watch the synchronicity supporting the feelings forwards.

And as I said earlier, I believe you already know the choice you're being invited to make.

Wishing you well

Open Ok

Hey Open-thanks so much for your reply. I think the mental gymnastics are an avoidance mechanism sometimes!! They have done their job in the last few weeks. Im going to take your advice and feel into my feelings. I need to make some quiet time! I am coming on the Openhand retreat in Glastonbury at the beginning of September. It will be lovely to spend some quality time with you all, and really feel into all these awkward places in my psyche. Thanks for the ongoing thoughtful and kind support. The crop circles look amazing! Faye Smile